I'm going back

My travel history with returning, revisiting and recreating

There are two clear schools of thought around returning. Or maybe it’s three.¹

You can never go home again, is the old adage. Does it apply to travel?

There are many travellers that firmly believe you should never look back; never return. They’re the ones who say ‘you can never go home again’, and why, frankly, would you want to. There are so many new places to visit.

The other extreme opposite of travellers are those who find their happy place, and they return, and return and return.

But what about those who are open to adventure and newness, but just can’t stop themselves from occasionally taking the risk of returning – giving in to that desire to recreate, relive and revive the experiences of the past.

I’m in that middle camp. I’m a returner. And I’m about to do it again.

You can’t go home again

One of my first experiments with returning was a pretty low stakes affair. Within months of its opening, my family visited the brand new exhibit, Passages of the Deep, an acrylic tunnel that meanders through ocean habitats, at the Oregon Coast Aquarium. ²

This was one of the most incredible things I had experienced. We spent the whole day, from open until close, with a quick stop back to our motorhome for lunch, enjoying the whole site, but easily spent a couple of hours in the tunnel – particularly towards closing time when we had the place to ourselves.

It was such an overwhelming visual experience with so much sea life on display. I remember watching starfish slowly moving over the glass, and sharks darting about, and one habitat in particular had so much colour. When I was asked by others my best experience of that 6 week journey along the Pacific Coast, I consistently said Passage of the Deep.

A few years later we returned to Oregon (I’ve been back so many times now – it’s an absolute favourite) we revisited, with great anticipation, Newport Beach’s Oregon Coast Aquarium, and I immediately went to my favourite place.

It just wasn’t the same. I’ve probably been there 5 times now. And it has never captured me in the way it did that first time back in 2001. Part of me wishes that I had just held on to that first magical memory; you can’t go home again.

The Malecón, Havana, Cuba, 2012

You can go home again

A few years later, in the depths of winter, I got the urge to find some sun. I simply couldn’t bear Christmas in the cold, so we started to discuss warm places that might suit our purpose.

My husband chose Cuba. We left our car in a parking lot in Calgary in snow so deep it was difficult to walk. Getting off the plane in Varadero early that next morning, I was hit by the heat and the humidity. My first ever experience of warmth during winter. I still remember that first breath, exhausted from an overnight flight with a 5 year old that didn’t sleep for even a moment, but oh so happy to be there.

That trip was the first time we had flown to another country as a family. My international experience at that time was restricted to the continental US, and an afternoon in Tijuana, Mexico when we walked across the border.

Canadians travelling to Cuba generally visit all-inclusive resorts and don’t stray very far. A day trip to Havana from Varadero is considered an adventure.

We considered ourselves quite brave. We started in Varadero with a few days of all-inclusive, and then we took the tourist bus into Havana for a few nights, followed by another all-inclusive resort in Trinidad.

We caught the travel bug on that trip, and we fell in love with Cuba. Two years later, we were back.

On our second trip we stayed in casa particulares (B&Bs), just passing through resorts when they were convenient. We travelled in unlicensed taxis from town to town, and we spent our days visiting the sites and wandering the streets. We stopped at every playground so that our now 7 year old could play. And we watched the world go by.

Our second trip was even more glorious and fascinating than our first. We were starting to figure out what type of travel worked best for us. Returning, but in a better way, proved that maybe you can go home again.

Tilt Cove, Newfoundland (pop. 4), June 2024

Home is where you make it

In 1998 my partner and I drove across Canada, and during that trip we spent seven days in Newfoundland. I journalled every moment of that trip, and I thought that I had particularly clear memories of our time on ‘the Rock’. As we were getting back on the ferry, back to Nova Scotia on the mainland, I knew I wanted to return. Newfoundland is an incredible place that most Canadians never get to.

In 2015, while flying to Ireland from Calgary, we had a stopover in St John’s, Newfoundland. We spent a couple of hours at the airport around midnight, before our overnight hop to Dublin. I remember staring out the windows into the inky darkness wishing that I could see the incredible landscapes that are Newfoundland.

It took until 2024 for us to return, this time leaving the airport for 5 weeks. We rented a vehicle, and we did our best to get to every part of the island. But even with 5 weeks, we didn’t succeed. There is just too much to see and do in Newfoundland. ³

We revisited many places but also saw so much that was new to us. Looking back on our 1998 one-week journey across Newfoundland I now recall just how much of that time was spent driving. Long, long drives are a hallmark of any visit.

That first trip was taken in our Honda Civic with a backseat full of camping gear. The 2024 version was a rented VW Taos, carrying only our backpacks and a cooler as we transited between AirBnB’s and the occasional hotel room.

The incredible scenery and friendliness of the people was exactly as I remembered it. But that’s it. Returning to all these places I realized that I really couldn’t remember anything. Or, nothing was as I remembered it.

My journal is filled with statements like ‘we don’t remember much of it’, ‘nothing was particularly familiar’, and ‘you’d think I’d remember at least a bit, but in the end I recognized nothing’.

So Newfoundland was a whole new experience for me, even if it was my second time.

We were also different people. Instead of being two people thinking about whether or not we would choose to spend our lives together, we were now two people with a quarter century of marriage under our belts. We were through the parenting stage and the working stage and now were on the retirement stage. Moving slowly instead of rushing from place to place.

So maybe home is wherever you make it.

A story that has not yet been written

Here’s my final story of returning for today, and it’s one that has not yet been written.

Last April, I boarded a plane from Cusco back to Lima, Peru. A few days, and a few more flights later, we landed back in British Columbia.

As I was walking through the Cusco airport I turned to my husband and said, I’m not ready to go. I want to do it all over again.

That feeling never left me. I still want to do it all over again.

As I watched out the window as our plane lifted up over the mountains I could not really fathom how I would find my way back. It felt like Perú was a once in a lifetime-type place.

But why? Who made that rule? Eventually I decided that really the only thing stopping me from returning was my own lack of imagination.

I’m going back

In a few weeks I’ll be getting off a plane in Cusco. I’ll be lugging my backpack down the stairs out of the airplane and feeling the sudden effects of 3300 m above sea level. By the time I get through the airport I’ll be completely exhausted. I may be regretting my choices after a sleepless night on too many airplanes.

But in the end, none of that will matter. I know that what will matter is that I’ll be back. And while I’m there, that will be my home.

JL Orr | Paradox & Sea Glass

Home base: the Okanagan Valley of British Columbia in Canada

You can also find more of my non-travel related writing at Jumble of Sea Glass.

1. Very often I write pieces that are in conversation with the work of other Substack writers and I want to be sure to acknowledge that where possible. I think one of the first was Scott Monaco’s You Can Never Return to the Same Place, and the most recent was definitely Roberta Hill, Wander After 70’s You Can Go Back.

2. Newport Beach’s Oregon Coast Aquarium is well worth a visit. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this amazing place. https://aquarium.org

3. I’ve written quite a bit about our time in Newfoundland. Click here, then click on Notes, and scroll until you find the Newfoundland Chronicles. Episode 17 was on November 22 and you can work your way backwards from there. If you have the chance you should definitely visit Newfoundland!