Travel and the Pursuit of Happiness

Plus 5 (sometimes silly) ways to make me a better traveller. (Results for others may vary)

Pre-travel euphoria

On June 4 of this year, I wrote these words:

I’ve often said that I’m happiest when I have a trip planned. I just love the anticipation. Counting down the days until we hit the road or get on a plane.

If I’m honest, I’ve often used this pre-travel euphoria as a drug to get me through darker times. Life gets hard; I start planning a trip.

I’ve figured out the magic pill for tough times:

Dream about a trip. Plan a trip. Go on a trip.

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I was only being the tiniest bit facetious.

Is this a classic avoidance technique? You bet it is. Is it healthy? For years, I wasn’t willing to quibble about that.

A journey of the soul

These last 6 months have been a season of discovery for me. I’ve been home since mid-April, and it has been a real journey. I was going to say it has been a journey of the mind. But actually, it has been deeper than that.

A journey of the soul.

For reasons that I still haven’t fully articulated, my last trip opened up such a chasm of questioning that I embarked upon a full examination of all the things I thought were foundational. From the outside looking in, I’m sure it has looked as if I have just been living my daily life. But on the inside, it’s been an almost complete teardown.

I’m happy to say that I’m mostly satisfied with renovations so far. But it has come with many challenges.

What happens when you strip away your tried and true coping mechanisms? What happens when you are honest with yourself about why you do what you do? How long can you avoid the truth?

What happens when you remove barriers? Are you really as brave as you think you are now that nothing is standing in your way? Is being free more than you bargained for?

I recently read a very excellent piece of writing by Jada, The Midlife Nomad which included this line. It refers to my particular time of life.

“This isn’t a deficiency – it’s a redesign.” - Jada Butler

I am rebuilding from scratch, with no excuses.

Will travel bring happiness?

I’ve had to completely re-examine my relationship with travel as a wonder drug. I’ve had to be honest with myself about my tendency to chase new experiences as a way to keep my brain positively engaged. I’ve used ‘different’ as a way to avoid dealing with the things that haven’t changed.

I can no longer use travel as a means to achieving ‘happiness’. In fact, I’m not even sure that ‘happiness’ is the goal any longer.

I would encourage you to read ‘Everything but not Enough’ from my other publication, Jumble of Sea Glass, where I talk about the need for a psychologically rich life, rather than just focusing on happiness and meaning.

I do see travel as a way of pursuing psychological richness – a life of complexity, friction, and challenge. I see travel as a way of expanding my knowledge and understanding. And I will travel in a way that increases my awareness and my empathy. I will choose to live in the way I want my children to live – with courage and conviction.

As I think about what I want these next 10 years to look like, I’m reconsidering my whole relationship with travel. At each new stage, I come to a deeper understanding of the effects of travel not just on me, but the wider world. As someone who believes in thinking holistically and living authentically,¹ I believe this new understanding must change the way I live in the world.

I will make conscious choices, even when they are hard, because for me, this is the right thing to do.

Here is a list of 5 (sometimes silly) ways to make ME a better traveller. (Results for others may vary)

1. I’m going to slow way, way down

I already travel pretty slow. Those of you who have been here awhile will have seen my series called 18 days (give or take)... in which I write about all the places we’ve stayed for 18 days. But in this phase of life, 18 days is no longer slow enough. I want to move from counting the days, to counting weeks, or months.

2. I’m going to invest in learning the language

For the time being, I’m focusing on Spanish. There are so many places you can travel to that are Spanish speaking that this seems like the most efficient choice. My goal is to get proficient enough that my ‘poor’ Spanish will be better than the ‘poor’ English of the regular (read: non-tourist adjacent) people I will encounter.

3. I’m going to support locally-owned small businesses

Every financial transaction is a choice, and I’m going to skew towards putting money into the hands of those who can most benefit from it.

Around this time of year, heading into the holiday shopping season, you’ll often see signs comparing the effect of a dollar spent locally vs. a dollar spent with a multinational corporation. The same is true for small service providers in other countries.

I’m going to make the effort to spend my money where it will have the greatest benefit.

4. I’m going to stop being so bloody cost conscious all the bloody time!

When I said these 5 things were specifically to make ME a better traveller – I wasn’t kidding. You probably don’t have this problem.

I am so cheap! This comes from earlier years where every penny counted. Sometimes penny pinching meant survival. But thankfully, that is not my life any more.

When travelling to countries with lower living standards than my own, I’m going to stop being such a tightwad. Whether I pay $25 or $50 doesn’t, in the long run, really make that much difference to my life. That money, particularly in the right hands, could make a significant difference to others.

I know this probably sounds weird, but so often I have missed out on great experiences and service providers have missed out on business because I wouldn’t loosen up a little bit. I have many regrets in this area.

5. I’m going to be more adventurous and actually try things!

I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me. I come home from Place Y. Everybody I talk to says ‘how did you like Thing X (the national dish, a famous drink, etc, etc)? I say, I didn’t try it.

I could do a top 10 list of famous things that EVERYBODY does when they travel to a specific place, but that I was too scared to try. Maybe a top 25 list.

I’m going to stop this cowardice – at least I’m going to try. Strangely, this is likely the one change that is going to be the hardest.

Although, in my defense, I did eat harðfiskur in Iceland. You are thinking – how brave! No. You’re thinking of hákarl.

Harðfiskur is thin, chewy strips of air-dried fish. Hákarl is rotten shark. Had you for a moment, didn’t I?

Is there something that you think would make you a better traveller?

Or maybe you’ve already tried hákarl?

What are the things that EVERYBODY tries, but you haven’t?

I hope you’ve found something here that made you think, or mildly entertained you.

JL Orr

Okanagan Valley, British Columbia, Canada

Thanks to all my readers who commented on last week’s article, The Quantity vs. Quality Debate.

Here’s a sample:

“Beautifully articulated - that pull between seeing as much as possible, and slowing down to really see and experience.” - Laura McVeigh

“If I take a trip quickly through various countries and 10 years later remember it only as a blur, geographically misplacing experiences and forgetting others, I probably wasted my time. What I decided was to frame trips around ideas, like routes that pass through cultural changes incrementally.” - Brad Yonaka

“We started our slow-travel life chasing quantity too — new stamps, new stays, a month here, a month there. But somewhere along the way, ‘seeing it all’ started to feel like ‘missing it all’. The pace flattened the wonder.

“That’s when we slowed down and began staying longer — a single village, one rhythm, one market. Quality reshaped everything.'“ - Kelly Benthall of Benthall Slow Travel

“I’ve been travelling full time for the last 14 years. Quantity is unsustainable for full time travel. My husband always says we can’t travel with people who are on vacation. Their pace is much faster than ours.” - Duwan Dunn

In case you missed it…

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You can also subscribe to Jumble of Sea Glass, my place for more musing, soul searchings and occasional silliness, that isn’t travel-related.

Living by the Seasons

1. I’m so sorry – I know people hate that word, but it does still have meaning in spite of its overuse. I guess I better apologize also for the repeated use of ‘journey’. Can’t help it ;-)